Welcome to the wonderful world of Whomp!

Curator Thrope wants to say this first of all: "We'll add new cards regularly so please bookmark us and pop back." There - he's happy now. Or as happy as he ever gets.

Our cards are smooth white with matte finish, folded lovingly down the middle. They are all blank inside, because we think the designs on the front say it all. But if you want to add your own little message, pick up a pen and knock yourself out! And of course each card has its own snug, white envelope, 100gsm.

They come in 3 flavours. All quoted sizes refer to the folded size, i.e. A5 is A4 folded:

  1. A5 - 148mm x 210mm - roughly 6 x 8 inches. This size is reserved for the 'I HATE YOU', 'FRIEND & ENEMY' and 'SAY IT WITH RAINBOWS' categories. Because when it comes to insults and swearing, go big or go home.
  2. 127mm x 178mm - 5 x 7 inches. All other categories except Christmas.
  3. A6 - 105mm x 148mm - roughly 4 x 6 inches. This size is reserved for the Christmas cards only, which are sold in themed packs of 10.

Card and weight

The A5 and 5 x 7 inch cards use thick 300gsm card. Fold one of these babies in half and you could have someone's throat out with it.

The A6 size use 250gsm card, which at that dinky size is more than stiff enough to stand proud. And though the lighter card may not be as combat-ready as the 300, it could, if tightly rolled up, have an unwary assailant's eye out.

The Stuff on the Cards

As you'll know if you've had a browse already, our cards are of two basic types. Some contain big, bold text only, and the rest feature some sort of picture with a caption underneath. We're all for keeping things simple. The vast majority of the pictures we use are repurposed old photographs (mainly black & white), antiquated art works, old cards and other illustrations, mostly acquired from the public domain. As such, they might not look like state-of-the-art, ultra-high res digital whatnots generated yesterday, and we ask you to remember that when they arrive. We still think you'll like them.

The Environmental Bit

Our card is sustainably sourced. We'd love to tell you it's recycled, but that sort of card available to us wasn’t of the same quality. The stuff we use is FSC certified and produced at a mill that is certified to the ISO14001 environmental management standard. So be aware, for now, that every time you order from us, a bit of a sustainable tree may feel a bit of a pinch. And if you order at night when it’s quiet, and hear a distant scream – don't worry, it's only a ‘Just Stop Whomp’ protester being cemented into a shallow grave.

We print most cards ourselves, and also use a friendly printing firm local to us (we’re in the UK) and can guarantee that none of our cards are cheap, outsourced crap from abroad. As a result they may cost a few pence more than the tat you find in high street bargain bins, but we hope you don't mind paying for quality.